Safe Communication

Safe Communication (Part Two)
How to apply Health Communication

I previously raised reasons for common communication breakdowns in relationships in our day and age. I mentioned that alternative communication methods like social media, sms, emails and more in today’s living can strain and cause communication breakdowns. The reason being that many couples I see in my practise hide behind alternative communication to solve their issues rather talking face to face and reasons given why they behave like that.

Now I want to focus on Healthy Safe Communication. The best communication is face to face hands on communicating to each other. Eye contact and allowing each other the time and space to express their feelings this is very important. In a relationship it is very important to allow each other to be yourself in how you communicate. Being in a relationship you want to be listened to, understood, validated and shown empathy. These are very important elements to show and give each other on a regular basis.

The first step to  Safe communication is the understanding of the “Safe Zone” The Safe Zone is an understanding between the couple that we are now going to communicate without interrupting each other, without attacking one another or withdrawing from one another. The safe communication allows you to feel save and to express your deepest emotions to your partner knowing your partner will not criticise, belittle or pick a fight with you.
When Couples have this understanding with each other it makes it much easier and it saves many fights and make ups.

The Second Step to Safe Communication is the sender of the message keeps with one topic. The sender needs to be to the point and not discuss multiple problems only one thing at a time. You are allowed to express emotion and state how you feel about things. You will have sufficient time to explain your point of view when you send the message.

The third step to Safe Communication is the receiver listens and mirrors back. The receiver will reply in saying what you understand you partner said. You will stars you sentence like this: ‘I understand that you are saying that you…’ It is important that you do this to make sure you understand how your partner feels and thinks.

Fourth Step to Safe Communication is the Sender must validate the message. The sender have to say you understood me. If your partner did not understand you or mirrored back a message that you did not sent you start the process over.

Fifth step to Safe Communication is the Receiver shows empathy to the sender. This is very important to be empathetic towards your partner even if you don’t agree…because it shows that you respect the way your partner feels and sees things from his/her perspective or point of view.

When this is successfully communicated we turn it around that the other person can say and speak their mind. This is a very helpful way to safely communicate to each other. You will reap many fruitful moments between each other and this eventually draws couples closed to each other. So now the ball is in your court. You have the decision to make these small changes in your relationship to have a more productive and progressive relationship. Remember that this communication has to happen as often as possible. Don’t give up and keep on trying.

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Gerrie Pretorius

Professional Counselor at Life Counsel
I am passionate about counselling and helping people through the obstacles they may face on their journey in life.

I specialise in trauma counselling and also help couples through marriage and pre-marital counselling.
Gerrie Pretorius
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