Love and Respect

His Love motivates her Respect, that motivates his Love

Part one of love and respect it was noted that the Wife Desires to be loved and the Husband to be Respected and when one party is denied love or respect the crazy cycle starts.

The crazy cycle is where one party refuses to love or respect their partners because they are not pleased with each other. So when you are denied love or respect it becomes difficult to have a harmonious relationship. The crazy cycle couples play off against each other; you did not…… so I will not……

But now we get to the Energizing Cycle.


Love and respect 2

Now the Energizing Cycle is where couples Love and Respect unconditionally. Your behaviour motivates your partner’s actions in a positive way. You now put the ball in your court…how should I react, behave; respond to encourage the energizing cycle? So if your partner does something that hurts you do communicate about how he/she makes you feel but don’t react in a way where you feel helpless and withdraw yourself from him/her.

So when your relationship is in the crazy cycle you need to know that it only takes one to slow down that crazy cycle at first and then eventually move towards the energizing cycle.

In the energizing cycle you can’t allow conflict to be contained. There has to be a clear and open relationship at all times. No grudges can be held and a Golden rule is that couples can’t go to sleep when there is unfinished business or when there is unresolved conflict. Couples need to make an effort to attain peace between each other. It was never said to be easy; at times it is hard work but believe me it is rewarding.

Forgiveness is in the centre of this cycle. There needs to be a heart of compassion for your partner.

As I mentioned before we need to realize men and woman are different. Men view life through blue lenses where woman view life through pink lenses. We see things different, we reason different, we get to different conclusions, we feel different and so it goes on. But we need to adjust our lenses to our partners to really understand their point of view.

So to start this process in your relationship, you firstly have to start with yourself. In conclusion one needs to be more aware of oneself in order for this to work. It starts with me and not with my partner.

Author: Gerrie Pretorius

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Gerrie Pretorius

Professional Counselor at Life Counsel
I am passionate about counselling and helping people through the obstacles they may face on their journey in life.

I specialise in trauma counselling and also help couples through marriage and pre-marital counselling.
Gerrie Pretorius
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